Hi Reader, I want to leave you with the one thing that, more than any meal or any workout, decides whether a woman keeps this up for life or quietly lets it go in a few months. Somewhere in the middle of our work together, Ria started to disappear into it. Every dinner became a negotiation. Every social evening became a problem to manage. She turned down invitations she would have loved, because the food might not be "right." She was doing everything correctly, and she was becoming smaller,...
19 days ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader, Ria loved one particular exercise class. It eased her, it cleared her head, she always left feeling better. And yet she had stopped going, and she was afraid to return. What had happened was this. Somewhere along the way she had started pushing. Adding sessions, stacking hard workouts back to back, because a quiet voice told her that more must mean faster. And her body had pushed back. An ache that would not settle, a small injury. Now the thing she loved felt dangerous. Underneath...
20 days ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader, A small thing happened to Ria that she almost dismissed, and I want to tell you about it, because it matters more than any number on a scale. Two of her friends, separately, told her she looked different. Lighter, somehow. Brighter. And here is the part that stunned her. The scale had barely moved. Her clothes fit only slightly differently. By the measure she had been taught to trust, almost nothing had changed. So what were her friends seeing? Think about a great actor playing two...
22 days ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader, Ria is a high achiever, and high achievers carry a particular weakness that no one warns them about. It is not laziness. It is the opposite. It is the quiet, relentless pursuit of doing it perfectly. She would start a week beautifully. Then one meal would go off plan, a single slice of cake at a birthday, and something in her would snap. "Well, I have ruined it now." And the rest of the day, sometimes the rest of the week, would unravel from that one small thing. I asked her to...
26 days ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader, Ria told me about a dinner with friends. She had decided, quietly, to eat lightly that night. Then one friend raised an eyebrow at her plate. Another said, "Oh come on, it is Friday, live a little." And within minutes Ria was eating and drinking things she had not even wanted, just to make the looks and the comments stop. The next morning she felt awful, and not because of the food. Because she had handed the decision to people who were not the ones who would wake up in her body. I...
27 days ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader, For weeks, Ria asked me the same kind of question. Should I do this. Am I allowed that. Was this okay. She wanted me to hand down rulings, and she wanted to follow them perfectly. One day I gently turned it around. "Ria," I said, "who is the boss of your life?" She laughed, a little unsure where I was going. So I explained. In any kingdom, there is a king and there are advisors. The advisors are clever. They know things the king does not. They bring information, they map out...
29 days ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader, "There is one thing I cannot beat," Ria admitted. "Every night, after dinner, I need something sweet. Just a little. A toffee, a square of chocolate, something. I know it is emotional. I just cannot stop." I asked her how much that little sweet actually mattered, in plain terms. Hardly anything(Its not 2000 calories bomb, its hardly a few calories), on its own. And yet it had a grip on her that nothing else did. Why would something so small feel so impossible to put down? Because...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader, Ria was doing everything right, and the scale would not move. "It is like my body is fighting me," she said. "Like it does not want to let go." She was more right than she knew. Her body did not want to let go. And it had a very good reason. Here is what I asked her about. Not what she ate. When she ate. And the answer was the one I expected. Some days breakfast at eight, some days skipped. Lunch whenever a gap appeared. Dinner sometimes at seven, sometimes at ten, sometimes barely...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader, Ria told me she felt like she was always searching for something. She would eat, and a little while later, want more. Not because she was hungry exactly, but because something felt unfinished.(some times we call it cravings) She kept reaching for one more thing, then another, and none of it ever quite landed. "I feel like I have no off switch," she said. I told her she had a perfect off switch. She just kept buying sofas when her body was asking for a bed. Let me explain, because...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader, Ria came to one of our calls a little embarrassed. "The first few weeks were wonderful," she said. "I was excited. I planned my meals, I felt unstoppable. And now? I just cannot get myself to do any of it. I am bored with it. What is wrong with me?" Nothing was wrong with her. Something very predictable had happened, and no one had warned her it was coming. The excitement wore off. It always does. The novelty of a new plan is a burst of energy, and a burst, by its nature, runs out....
about 1 month ago • 2 min read